Have you ever received some news or a comment from someone that left you utterly speechless? It doesn't happen very often to me, but recently I received such a comment. Usually, when I hear something, even if I don't make a verbal response (say, if it's not worth hurting someone else or making them mad), I am giving a response in my head. This time, however, I had NOTHING...couldn't think, couldn't speak, and devastated. What was this news, you ask? The "W" word...WEIGHT.
I was at my yearly exam with my OB/GYN. She asked if I had any health concerns, any problems, any questions, etc. I told her I didn't. She said, "Well, I do. I'm concerned about your weight gain over the last 5 years." And rightfully so, it is ridiculous. And I know that. I'm thinking, "You're right...I have to do something. I wonder how she wants me to lose weight? Low carb? Weight Watchers?" And then she says, "I think you need to have Lap-Band surgery done." WTH? She asks if I'd ever considered it. I tell her "NO!" She babbles on about how other patients have had a lot of success...yadda, yadda, yadda. To tell you the truth, I was trying not to cry, and thinking in my head why I don't want to have this done; I had stopped listening. She sent me on my way with some pamphlets about bariatric procedures. And I made it to my car before I started crying.
(So, here are my issues with LapBanding for me:
*I have no physical ailments that prevent me from making eating and workout changes.
*I haven't had kids yet, and the thought of some foreign object being in my body while pregnant creeps me out.
*After the procedure, you have to eat a low fiber diet. Doesn't every healthy diet promote high fiber? If I recall, isn't fiber what cleans your colon? (I also have quite a family history of diverticulitis, so the low fiber thing scares me.)
*I'm not 30 yet, and I have no health issues besides allergies and asthma (lifelong.)
*There are no long-term studies of people who have had LapBanding, and I worry about possible side effects later in life (mostly due to nutritional issues and how that can affect bones, heart, etc.)
Okay, so it's no big news that I need to lose weight. Especially when you look at the pic Kate posted of me at H.'s baptism...whoa. That's not the version of me who I want K. and H. to know. Or anyone else for that matter. I have a ton of self-confidence, and that is probably one of my best assets. I refuse to change for anyone but me. I'm not ashamed to wear a bathing suit, and, in fact, spent most of my summer on a boat. I know my friends won't judge me, because I surround myself with great people. And I don't care what anyone outside of my circle of family and friends thinks about me. I like who I am, and I love food! I don't eat emotionally, I just have slow-ass metabolism (no thyroid issues, of course), and used to eat too late at night on my second shift nights. I say "used to" because on that fateful day in August, I stopped drinking pop (soda, if you will), stopped eating late, and given up fried food (not too big of a deal, because I didn't eat it that often anyway.) I also fill up on low calorie, low sugar, low fat snacks (bring on the sugar free jello!) and have increased my fluid intake immensely. It's a good thing I like water, tea and crystal light! I look at everything I'm about to put in my mouth, and ask "Is it worth it?" If it's not, I find something else. I haven't started a heavy workout routine yet, but I'll blog about that later. When I can workout, I plan on joining Weight Watchers...I want to get the most out of my money! (Yes, seriously! But I have friends who have done it, and I have the general guidelines that I've started following.)
I had often said before that I couldn't find the motivation to make the change...guess my OB knew how to help me there! I should mention, however, that I've known her my entire life, and she knows my struggles with weight. And I was able to quickly realize she only wanted to help me, even though the words hurt like a bi#$h! Thanks to some great friends, and great advice, I'm committed to making some changes. Apparently, so is my waistline...need to take in my work pants! Boo-yah!
About Me
- amanda
- I guess I should start with the basics. I'm Amanda, and I've decided to blog as a way to vent. I like to read other people's blogs, so we'll see how this goes. Hope you like it!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Soul in the Season
Ummm, so I know I'm a little late, but I have had my list written for some time, but am only now getting around to blogging about it. And I kind of feel like a cheater, because I have already accomplished quite a few things on my list :). Bear with me, too, because this is my first list, and I'm hoping that it's an okay list (not too easy.) Well, here you go, Kate! You asked for it!
1. Go on the Scenic Drive with friends.
2. Plant all the mums I bought (I tend to buy new year after year!)
3. Make pumpkin cookies, and give away as many as possible.
4. One day a week, take 30 minutes to find stuff to get rid of/put in the yard sale pile.
5. Every week, set aside some money to be donated to a local food pantry/used to buy goods for such charity.
6. Get a good start on my stuff for the Thanksgiving Weekend Craft Show/Church Craft Sale.
7. Sit around a camp fire with friends.
Well, what do you think? I have already accomplished 1 and 2. For those who don't know, the Scenic Drive is an event that happens locally, in which crafters and other vendors set up booths in several different towns. It's a pretty cool thing, and not only did I go, but I went twice! Randomly, I also ran into a friend from college while there!
So far, 4 and 5 are on schedule as well. It feels really good to know that the money I save from a few fancy coffee's a week will give someone food for a meal. It also feels good to rid my space of stuff I don't need, and that someone else may get some good use out of it.
I was lucky enough to do 7 last weekend...and we had a blast!
I love fall, even though this particular fall is giving my allergies and asthma a run for their money! Even still, I'm still enjoying our somewhat mild fall. I hope you all are too!
1. Go on the Scenic Drive with friends.
2. Plant all the mums I bought (I tend to buy new year after year!)
3. Make pumpkin cookies, and give away as many as possible.
4. One day a week, take 30 minutes to find stuff to get rid of/put in the yard sale pile.
5. Every week, set aside some money to be donated to a local food pantry/used to buy goods for such charity.
6. Get a good start on my stuff for the Thanksgiving Weekend Craft Show/Church Craft Sale.
7. Sit around a camp fire with friends.
Well, what do you think? I have already accomplished 1 and 2. For those who don't know, the Scenic Drive is an event that happens locally, in which crafters and other vendors set up booths in several different towns. It's a pretty cool thing, and not only did I go, but I went twice! Randomly, I also ran into a friend from college while there!
So far, 4 and 5 are on schedule as well. It feels really good to know that the money I save from a few fancy coffee's a week will give someone food for a meal. It also feels good to rid my space of stuff I don't need, and that someone else may get some good use out of it.
I was lucky enough to do 7 last weekend...and we had a blast!
I love fall, even though this particular fall is giving my allergies and asthma a run for their money! Even still, I'm still enjoying our somewhat mild fall. I hope you all are too!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Back to Reality
I just took a trip to Wisconsin, and had an amazing time. I got to see all my kids, and spend a lot of time with the Konopacki family preparing for H.'s baptism. It was exactly the break I needed, and there wasn't much down-time to think about anything stressful. It was a great week spent with great friends!
That being said, my first two days back have been pretty rough. Last night, we responded to a very bad accident involving some local teens. Unfortunately, one young man didn't make it. This is a terrible tragedy anytime, but in a small area where everyone knows everyone, it makes it so much harder. I just can't get the picture of his mother's face out of my head. Being as empathetic as I am, my heart was literally breaking with hers, even though I didn't know this young man that well. And his poor classmates...it's only been a little over a year since they lost yet another classmate in an accident. And I worry about our new crop of First Responders, as they went to school with him, and that it may deter them now from wanting to do the important work we do. This is exactly why I do it...because I can do it. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just something inside me that wants to help others in times of need.
Today was full of sanitizing and washing fire gear, ambulance equipment, etc. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my morning, but it has to be done. And then I get back to work. When I left for vacation, our kids were very well behaved and getting good behavior grades. Apparently last week that all went out the window. Nothing, and I mean nothing, irritates me more than having to repeat myself. (Well, that's not entirely true. People who are able to do certain things, but are unwilling to do them is another one of my pet-peeves. Ohhh, just thinking about some people I know that are like that is making my face red!) Anyway, I have this one young man who thinks his grin will get him out of everything. One of our big rules is to not manipulate, and this young man doesn't seem to care about it. We had a long discussion a few weeks ago about it, and why his behavior grade was so low because he couldn't follow it. It seems that I just wasted my breath, because he had the nerve to ask myself and two other staff members (while in my presence) the same question, to see if he'd get a different answer. By this point, I'd had enough, and sent him back to his room. His locked room.
This wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't the first time he had been sent back. At the end of the night, however, my supervisor pulls me aside and tells me that he didn't want me "yelling" at the kids when I sent them back. ***Some background info: I have never been as micromanaged in my life as I have been since I've worked here. Seriously. And it's nit-picky stuff, too. Every week the management meets, and they type up "minutes" to post, basically calling out everything they think we do wrong. It may not actually be wrong, but they prefer we do it differently. Whatever.*** Anyway, said supervisor told a kid two weeks ago, "You're acting like a f..king idiot" in front of other kids, but me raising my voice to a kid telling him to go back to his room is wrong. Oh, I see, it's a "do as I say, not as I do" situation. I totally understand why he wants me to not do so, but have an issue with it being okay for some to make up their own rules. I also understand that most of my kids shut down when voices are raised. But, quite frankly, I'd had enough. I just watched a family lose their son last night, and now I have to deal with this little punk? I just want to go back on vacation!!!!
Back to reality...this is my reality...*sigh*. Here's hoping the rest of the week goes smoothly, and the weekend is nice!
That being said, my first two days back have been pretty rough. Last night, we responded to a very bad accident involving some local teens. Unfortunately, one young man didn't make it. This is a terrible tragedy anytime, but in a small area where everyone knows everyone, it makes it so much harder. I just can't get the picture of his mother's face out of my head. Being as empathetic as I am, my heart was literally breaking with hers, even though I didn't know this young man that well. And his poor classmates...it's only been a little over a year since they lost yet another classmate in an accident. And I worry about our new crop of First Responders, as they went to school with him, and that it may deter them now from wanting to do the important work we do. This is exactly why I do it...because I can do it. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just something inside me that wants to help others in times of need.
Today was full of sanitizing and washing fire gear, ambulance equipment, etc. Not exactly how I wanted to spend my morning, but it has to be done. And then I get back to work. When I left for vacation, our kids were very well behaved and getting good behavior grades. Apparently last week that all went out the window. Nothing, and I mean nothing, irritates me more than having to repeat myself. (Well, that's not entirely true. People who are able to do certain things, but are unwilling to do them is another one of my pet-peeves. Ohhh, just thinking about some people I know that are like that is making my face red!) Anyway, I have this one young man who thinks his grin will get him out of everything. One of our big rules is to not manipulate, and this young man doesn't seem to care about it. We had a long discussion a few weeks ago about it, and why his behavior grade was so low because he couldn't follow it. It seems that I just wasted my breath, because he had the nerve to ask myself and two other staff members (while in my presence) the same question, to see if he'd get a different answer. By this point, I'd had enough, and sent him back to his room. His locked room.
This wasn't a big deal, and it wasn't the first time he had been sent back. At the end of the night, however, my supervisor pulls me aside and tells me that he didn't want me "yelling" at the kids when I sent them back. ***Some background info: I have never been as micromanaged in my life as I have been since I've worked here. Seriously. And it's nit-picky stuff, too. Every week the management meets, and they type up "minutes" to post, basically calling out everything they think we do wrong. It may not actually be wrong, but they prefer we do it differently. Whatever.*** Anyway, said supervisor told a kid two weeks ago, "You're acting like a f..king idiot" in front of other kids, but me raising my voice to a kid telling him to go back to his room is wrong. Oh, I see, it's a "do as I say, not as I do" situation. I totally understand why he wants me to not do so, but have an issue with it being okay for some to make up their own rules. I also understand that most of my kids shut down when voices are raised. But, quite frankly, I'd had enough. I just watched a family lose their son last night, and now I have to deal with this little punk? I just want to go back on vacation!!!!
Back to reality...this is my reality...*sigh*. Here's hoping the rest of the week goes smoothly, and the weekend is nice!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Introducing....
Hi! I think my name is going to be Jack, but I'm not too sure yet. My family is crazy...well, except for my auntie...I love her! She took like a bazillion pictures of me today! I arrived in Illinois yesterday...before that, I lived in Florida. The grass and ground are soooo much softer here! I'm 8 weeks old, and my sister and I moved to Illinois to be with our new families. Luckily, we'll only live a few blocks from each other. My first "dad", Chuck, is really good friends with my new "dad", Brad (my auntie AJ's brother) and my sister's new "dad", James. I think I'm really going to like it here! I hope I get to meet all of you soon!
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