Speechless

Have you ever received some news or a comment from someone that left you utterly speechless? It doesn't happen very often to me, but recently I received such a comment. Usually, when I hear something, even if I don't make a verbal response (say, if it's not worth hurting someone else or making them mad), I am giving a response in my head. This time, however, I had NOTHING...couldn't think, couldn't speak, and devastated. What was this news, you ask? The "W" word...WEIGHT.

I was at my yearly exam with my OB/GYN. She asked if I had any health concerns, any problems, any questions, etc. I told her I didn't. She said, "Well, I do. I'm concerned about your weight gain over the last 5 years." And rightfully so, it is ridiculous. And I know that. I'm thinking, "You're right...I have to do something. I wonder how she wants me to lose weight? Low carb? Weight Watchers?" And then she says, "I think you need to have Lap-Band surgery done." WTH? She asks if I'd ever considered it. I tell her "NO!" She babbles on about how other patients have had a lot of success...yadda, yadda, yadda. To tell you the truth, I was trying not to cry, and thinking in my head why I don't want to have this done; I had stopped listening. She sent me on my way with some pamphlets about bariatric procedures. And I made it to my car before I started crying.

(So, here are my issues with LapBanding for me:
*I have no physical ailments that prevent me from making eating and workout changes.
*I haven't had kids yet, and the thought of some foreign object being in my body while pregnant creeps me out.
*After the procedure, you have to eat a low fiber diet. Doesn't every healthy diet promote high fiber? If I recall, isn't fiber what cleans your colon? (I also have quite a family history of diverticulitis, so the low fiber thing scares me.)
*I'm not 30 yet, and I have no health issues besides allergies and asthma (lifelong.)
*There are no long-term studies of people who have had LapBanding, and I worry about possible side effects later in life (mostly due to nutritional issues and how that can affect bones, heart, etc.)

Okay, so it's no big news that I need to lose weight. Especially when you look at the pic Kate posted of me at H.'s baptism...whoa. That's not the version of me who I want K. and H. to know. Or anyone else for that matter. I have a ton of self-confidence, and that is probably one of my best assets. I refuse to change for anyone but me. I'm not ashamed to wear a bathing suit, and, in fact, spent most of my summer on a boat. I know my friends won't judge me, because I surround myself with great people. And I don't care what anyone outside of my circle of family and friends thinks about me. I like who I am, and I love food! I don't eat emotionally, I just have slow-ass metabolism (no thyroid issues, of course), and used to eat too late at night on my second shift nights. I say "used to" because on that fateful day in August, I stopped drinking pop (soda, if you will), stopped eating late, and given up fried food (not too big of a deal, because I didn't eat it that often anyway.) I also fill up on low calorie, low sugar, low fat snacks (bring on the sugar free jello!) and have increased my fluid intake immensely. It's a good thing I like water, tea and crystal light! I look at everything I'm about to put in my mouth, and ask "Is it worth it?" If it's not, I find something else. I haven't started a heavy workout routine yet, but I'll blog about that later. When I can workout, I plan on joining Weight Watchers...I want to get the most out of my money! (Yes, seriously! But I have friends who have done it, and I have the general guidelines that I've started following.)

I had often said before that I couldn't find the motivation to make the change...guess my OB knew how to help me there! I should mention, however, that I've known her my entire life, and she knows my struggles with weight. And I was able to quickly realize she only wanted to help me, even though the words hurt like a bi#$h! Thanks to some great friends, and great advice, I'm committed to making some changes. Apparently, so is my waistline...need to take in my work pants! Boo-yah!

Soul in the Season

Ummm, so I know I'm a little late, but I have had my list written for some time, but am only now getting around to blogging about it. And I kind of feel like a cheater, because I have already accomplished quite a few things on my list :). Bear with me, too, because this is my first list, and I'm hoping that it's an okay list (not too easy.) Well, here you go, Kate! You asked for it!

1. Go on the Scenic Drive with friends.
2. Plant all the mums I bought (I tend to buy new year after year!)
3. Make pumpkin cookies, and give away as many as possible.
4. One day a week, take 30 minutes to find stuff to get rid of/put in the yard sale pile.
5. Every week, set aside some money to be donated to a local food pantry/used to buy goods for such charity.
6. Get a good start on my stuff for the Thanksgiving Weekend Craft Show/Church Craft Sale.
7. Sit around a camp fire with friends.


Well, what do you think? I have already accomplished 1 and 2. For those who don't know, the Scenic Drive is an event that happens locally, in which crafters and other vendors set up booths in several different towns. It's a pretty cool thing, and not only did I go, but I went twice! Randomly, I also ran into a friend from college while there!

So far, 4 and 5 are on schedule as well. It feels really good to know that the money I save from a few fancy coffee's a week will give someone food for a meal. It also feels good to rid my space of stuff I don't need, and that someone else may get some good use out of it.

I was lucky enough to do 7 last weekend...and we had a blast!

I love fall, even though this particular fall is giving my allergies and asthma a run for their money! Even still, I'm still enjoying our somewhat mild fall. I hope you all are too!