Six...Five...Four...Three...Two...One...Whoa.

So, as I sit here typing this blog, I am just a week shy of my 30th birthday. I've talked with some of my friends, and they have struggled with the "Big 3-0." To me, however, it's inevitable. Why fret about something you have absolutely no control over, like time? It's just not in my nature, I guess. But it does have me thinking. My life now is nothing like I planned it to be. I only have a few Type A traits, and one of those is definitely "planning." I plan how I think things will go, what I'll do if they don't go that way, and typically a second contingency plan. In the words of one of my dear heathens, "It's what I do!" Of course, since I plan on things not exactly going according to schedule, I TRY to be flexible. Sometimes I do better with this than others. Inevitably, though, right before I need to be somewhere, my pager will go off, and I'm headed out the door to help someone else, putting my plans on hold. But it's been 11 years of this...I'm used to it by now. It is because of this new found "flexibility" that I'm not stressed over "the big day." It is what it is, or rather what I make of it.

My "plan" for 30 was:
To be a Doctor of Physical Therapy.
To be married.
To have a child(ren).
To be in Wisconsin.
To love my job, and love the work I do.
To volunteer wherever I saw fit.
To travel.

My "actual" for 30:
I'm a counselor for juvenile delinquents.
I'm single.
No children (though I have been fortunate to enjoy other's children!)
Back in Illinois.
Fortunately, I do love my job (some days, it's just "okay"), and I do love the work I do (even if I rarely see the pay-off.)
I've given 11 years of service back to my community, and plan to continue doing so as long as I can.
My travels are to Wisconsin. And I think I'm okay with that!

Funny how life works out sometimes, huh? I've been blessed to be surrounded by great people who treat me well. They have made all the difference in the world. Am I where I want to be? Nope, not even close. But I think I'm happy with where I am. Afterall, without all the things I've been through, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I am forever humbled and grateful. To celebrate, I'll be headed to Las Vegas (for the first time!) in April with my friend Wendi, who's turning 40. We'll be joined by some other great friends, and I CANNOT wait! So here's to the next 30, may they be as amazing as the first!

Waiting, and waiting...

So I mentioned in my last post that I hadn't started a workout routine yet. I so totally have the commitment, but I have a slight issue. Okay, not a slight issue, a big issue...plantars warts. And lots of them. They are so gross, and have left me feeling like one huge herpes virus. Awesome, I know. I was going to post a picture but it didn't really do them justice, and I decided that the pain I feel day after day cannot be properly photographed. Actually, I'm kinda pissed that they photograph so well...because they H.U.R.T. Bad. Really bad. I'm not sure I can even describe it or compare it to anything. I will say, however, that I did not realize what was in store for me when I sought out treatment for these nasty little (err, some not so little) viruses. I saw a doctor for over two months, and she didn't produce any results. Huge waste of time and money. Luckily for me (and unluckily for her), she took a medical leave, and I was able to switch doctors. This doctor is very nice, but aggressive. Which I appreciate on days 5-7 after a treatment, but for days 1-4, he's Satan. Seriously. I've been hurt a l0t in my 29 years, but nothing, and I mean nothing, has hurt like this. It's like a nerve pain. I'll be okay, and then a spell hits me and there is nothing I can do to get comfortable. I assume this is what Restless Leg Syndrome kinda feels like. I'm sure it's entertaining to watch, but it hurts like a...well, you know. I think what is worse is that it hurts for over half the week, then gets tolerable, then he attacks again. I usually can make it out of the office before I cry, but not last week. Oh my word did it hurt! I was treated last Thursday and just stopped limping today. I really hope it's because he froze the areas for so long that he was able to make a lot of progress. If he didn't, I don't know how much more of this I can take. Last Thursday, I took 3200 milligrams of ibuprofen, and it didn't even touch the pain. Gave me one hell of a stomachache, though! He offered me pain meds, but I've never taken them and am not sure I want to now. Plus, like I said, it feels like nerve pain, so I'm not sure it'd work. I am at the point that I'd rather have my feet amputated and walk on nubs the rest of my life than finish these treatments! So sad, but so true! ARGH! I'm enjoying my time until 2:00PM Wednesday, then it starts all over again. *Sigh.*

Speechless

Have you ever received some news or a comment from someone that left you utterly speechless? It doesn't happen very often to me, but recently I received such a comment. Usually, when I hear something, even if I don't make a verbal response (say, if it's not worth hurting someone else or making them mad), I am giving a response in my head. This time, however, I had NOTHING...couldn't think, couldn't speak, and devastated. What was this news, you ask? The "W" word...WEIGHT.

I was at my yearly exam with my OB/GYN. She asked if I had any health concerns, any problems, any questions, etc. I told her I didn't. She said, "Well, I do. I'm concerned about your weight gain over the last 5 years." And rightfully so, it is ridiculous. And I know that. I'm thinking, "You're right...I have to do something. I wonder how she wants me to lose weight? Low carb? Weight Watchers?" And then she says, "I think you need to have Lap-Band surgery done." WTH? She asks if I'd ever considered it. I tell her "NO!" She babbles on about how other patients have had a lot of success...yadda, yadda, yadda. To tell you the truth, I was trying not to cry, and thinking in my head why I don't want to have this done; I had stopped listening. She sent me on my way with some pamphlets about bariatric procedures. And I made it to my car before I started crying.

(So, here are my issues with LapBanding for me:
*I have no physical ailments that prevent me from making eating and workout changes.
*I haven't had kids yet, and the thought of some foreign object being in my body while pregnant creeps me out.
*After the procedure, you have to eat a low fiber diet. Doesn't every healthy diet promote high fiber? If I recall, isn't fiber what cleans your colon? (I also have quite a family history of diverticulitis, so the low fiber thing scares me.)
*I'm not 30 yet, and I have no health issues besides allergies and asthma (lifelong.)
*There are no long-term studies of people who have had LapBanding, and I worry about possible side effects later in life (mostly due to nutritional issues and how that can affect bones, heart, etc.)

Okay, so it's no big news that I need to lose weight. Especially when you look at the pic Kate posted of me at H.'s baptism...whoa. That's not the version of me who I want K. and H. to know. Or anyone else for that matter. I have a ton of self-confidence, and that is probably one of my best assets. I refuse to change for anyone but me. I'm not ashamed to wear a bathing suit, and, in fact, spent most of my summer on a boat. I know my friends won't judge me, because I surround myself with great people. And I don't care what anyone outside of my circle of family and friends thinks about me. I like who I am, and I love food! I don't eat emotionally, I just have slow-ass metabolism (no thyroid issues, of course), and used to eat too late at night on my second shift nights. I say "used to" because on that fateful day in August, I stopped drinking pop (soda, if you will), stopped eating late, and given up fried food (not too big of a deal, because I didn't eat it that often anyway.) I also fill up on low calorie, low sugar, low fat snacks (bring on the sugar free jello!) and have increased my fluid intake immensely. It's a good thing I like water, tea and crystal light! I look at everything I'm about to put in my mouth, and ask "Is it worth it?" If it's not, I find something else. I haven't started a heavy workout routine yet, but I'll blog about that later. When I can workout, I plan on joining Weight Watchers...I want to get the most out of my money! (Yes, seriously! But I have friends who have done it, and I have the general guidelines that I've started following.)

I had often said before that I couldn't find the motivation to make the change...guess my OB knew how to help me there! I should mention, however, that I've known her my entire life, and she knows my struggles with weight. And I was able to quickly realize she only wanted to help me, even though the words hurt like a bi#$h! Thanks to some great friends, and great advice, I'm committed to making some changes. Apparently, so is my waistline...need to take in my work pants! Boo-yah!

Soul in the Season

Ummm, so I know I'm a little late, but I have had my list written for some time, but am only now getting around to blogging about it. And I kind of feel like a cheater, because I have already accomplished quite a few things on my list :). Bear with me, too, because this is my first list, and I'm hoping that it's an okay list (not too easy.) Well, here you go, Kate! You asked for it!

1. Go on the Scenic Drive with friends.
2. Plant all the mums I bought (I tend to buy new year after year!)
3. Make pumpkin cookies, and give away as many as possible.
4. One day a week, take 30 minutes to find stuff to get rid of/put in the yard sale pile.
5. Every week, set aside some money to be donated to a local food pantry/used to buy goods for such charity.
6. Get a good start on my stuff for the Thanksgiving Weekend Craft Show/Church Craft Sale.
7. Sit around a camp fire with friends.


Well, what do you think? I have already accomplished 1 and 2. For those who don't know, the Scenic Drive is an event that happens locally, in which crafters and other vendors set up booths in several different towns. It's a pretty cool thing, and not only did I go, but I went twice! Randomly, I also ran into a friend from college while there!

So far, 4 and 5 are on schedule as well. It feels really good to know that the money I save from a few fancy coffee's a week will give someone food for a meal. It also feels good to rid my space of stuff I don't need, and that someone else may get some good use out of it.

I was lucky enough to do 7 last weekend...and we had a blast!

I love fall, even though this particular fall is giving my allergies and asthma a run for their money! Even still, I'm still enjoying our somewhat mild fall. I hope you all are too!